It'll be 2 years in a couple of days. (no idea what I'm talking about? Go back to the older entries to about 2 years ago and read.) It seems anything having to do with her is triggering me at the moment. I came across a script and a playbill from the last show I did with her. I was in that one, and the one after that I did props for I think. I'm not to great on details. And I'm updating my novel, and I'm back right in the part I started when all this craziness happened.
I feel like I'm on the edge of a nervous breakdown again. Between not remembering anything, and remembering too much, I'm pulling myself in all directions. I haven't been this confused in a long while.
I feel bad that I seem to be putting it all on my girlfriend. I know she has no clue what happened, and I'm talking alot of gibberish which really doesn't help things. I'm kind of grasping for some kind of support and I shouldn't really be grasping at her. I can't rely on my mom anymore, and in the middle of the day...who else is there? That's the key, no one.
I know I'm gonna screw up and lose her over something like this. It always ends up happening this way...maybe I should go back to therapy. It didn't do much for me the first time.
The whole: Tell me how you feel...ok...good good..what do you think that means...shit gets old real fast. If i wanted to diagnose myself, or help myself i wouldn't be paying money to go to therapy, I'd be doing it myself, thank you mr/ms professional. If i could help myself why would i waste time/money to come see you?
So much for a mundane entry huh?
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Last Five Entries
Back to the land of the Living - 02/24/2008
Revelation - 02/09/2008
second guessing - 08/20/2007
growing pains - 03/28/2007
Published! - 03/14/2007
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moon phases |